Its not unusual to hear of someone getting dumped. Someone in the relationship ends it, and sometimes its not you. It hurts yes, and even though you feel like your the only one going through it, you’re not. I’ve been there, and it sucked.
Whilst this isn’t my usual topic, I’ve often been asked how I dealt with it, so I thought, why not blog about it. I am a example of how being dumped isn’t the end of the world, and can infact make you a hell of a lot stronger.
So if you recently went through a break-up and wondering how on earth you’ll get over it, trust me, you can!
When its not your decision, its hard to see why it would be for the best. But see the true reasons the relationship didn’t work, and you’ll probably end up kicking yourself you didn’t end it.
Its not the end of the world
It may feel like it, and it will for a couple of weeks, but the end of this relationship is not the end of the world. Remember you had a life before them, and you will after. Take this time to find yourself again and focus on what matters, you!
You’re not going to be 40 and single!
Someone said to me, whilst I was crying my eyes out, no-one ever is single at 20 and stays single for the rest of their adult life. And its true. If you found someone before, you’ll find someone again, and chances are they’ll be a whole lot better than the last! Stop panicking you’ll never find anyone else, and focus on having
Learn to see the positives
It may have come to a end, but it doesn’t mean you now have to hate that person, and if you’re the grown up you want to be, learn to see the positives of the relationship. Take the negatives and learn from them like any other. Remember the good times, but also the bad and realise what you want from your next relationship.
DONT CONTACT THEM!
They’ll probably say they still want friendship, and to keep in contact, and even maybe hook up from time to time for ‘old times sake’. But I can’t stress enough, cut all contact!! Truth is, hardly anyone stays friends with their ex, and when they do, its probably because it didn’t end as messy. Cut all ties, delete their number, block them on facebook, unfollow on twitter and delete snap chat. You don’t need any contact with them, nor their friends. Better still, its nice knowing you have no idea what their doing, and they don’t know either.
Go and have fun, but DON’T DO ONE NIGHT STANDS!
Get your glad rags on and go out with friend by all means. Get some attention that you’ve had to warn off for god knows how long and feel good about yourself. BUT, If you heard that one night stands are the best way to get over your ex, you probably heard it from a guy, who has never had a decent relationship and has no idea what love even is. Its not the answer. It makes you feel good for a split second, but waking up to a stranger is far from the feel good factor you need.
Surround yourself with friends and family and learn what you enjoy best.
Being in a relationship for a long time can cast shadows over what you enjoy. You’ve spent most of your time with one person, you haven’t had time for yourself doing what you enjoy for a long time. Take this time to re-establish your hobbies, find new enjoyment and surround yourself with friends and family. Those are the relationships that don’t change.
Remember you are loveable….
You might have been dumped, but hopefully the steps above have not only told you of some dos and donts, but that you are loveable and there is a better future. There is someone out there for you, and the last just wasn’t it and above all, a learning curve. You have to kiss some frogs before you meet your prince.
P.S – watch new girl if you haven’t, a good feel good series to make you realise the end of a relationshp can be the start of something better.
So if you’ve been dumped, or just coming to the end of a relationship and are struggling to deal with it, I hope these points have been a little help to make you feel better. Remember you’re not alone and there are friends and family that will support you. Don’t forget who you are and you’ll be happier than ever in no time.