There are so many of us that have had crap relationships. They’ve lied, been a idiot, or worse yet, they’ve cheated.It takes a lot of bad experiences to make you learn and realise when you have it so so so much better. But the thing is, how do you know if your relationship is one of the good or bad experiences?Funnily enough, thats what this blog post is about!I wouldn’t say I’ve had my fair share of relationships, but I think I have been surrounded by them enough, I know what a good one is, and whats a rotten egg.
- You don’t trust them : This is the most important one! They’ve got to have done something to make you lose trust in them. Or even worse, you never trusted them in the first place. Checking their messages, facebook or even where they are, are all signs you don’t trust them a 100%. Once its gone, there’s no point dragging it out, for them or for you. You’ll only kill your self wondering what their upto when you’re not with them, and you’d always expect the worse. Hardly fair is it?
- You’re not top of the pecking order : They’re your priority, you’d do anything for them, spend as much time as possible with them but its not reciprocated? If your priorities aren’t matched, they never will be. A other half who spends most of their time worrying about everyone but you is one not bothering about. Sounds like they’re not ready for the commitment of a real relationship.
- They’re holding you back : They haven’t got many prospects, not 100% sure what they want in life, not saving for the house you’ve both talked about, not even considering getting a job? These are all things, that if you let, will hold you back. Don’t let them be the reason you’re not where you want to be in 6months, a year or even 5years time.
- Its the same argument : Felt like you’ve been there before. You’re saying all the same things you said last time you had this argument and yet nothings changed, nothings different? Its because nothing has changed, nothing is different. Going round in circles with the same issue is because you expect it to have changed, and it didn’t. If nothing changed after the first argument, it certainly won’t after the 2nd,3rd,4th or even 10th. If its some re-accuring issue argued about time and time again, chances are its important, and a deal breaker.
- You’ve forgot a time when things were good : I know people, including myself, who have been in relationships where its been ‘good’ but not as ‘good’ as it used to be. If you forget what it even was like before it got tough and hard going, the relationship isn’t going in the right direction. A relationship should bring happiness and make you into a better person, nothing else.
- You’re questioning the relationship : If you’ve questioned it, thought about ending it, maybe even talked about it, its because there is a reason you believe worth the break up. If you’ve threatned a break-up, or said it in the heat of arguments, its because you’re not so sure on it yourself. Its never a good sign if you’ve thought about ending a relationship, and often a indication there is a serious flaw worth considering.
- You’re on a break : I hate to say it, but it pretty much shouts wrong relationship. I don’t know anyone who has had a break from a relationship and its been for the better. If you or them have to take the time to consider the relationship and think things over, you’re trying to cover the cracks, and they will always re-appear. Stop kidding youself its something to be mended. Somethings can’t be fixed.
- You’re only in it because you don’t know anything else : When you have been with someone for a while, it can be hard to even consider a life without having someone there to share you most intimate parts of your life with. They’re a companion and friend, there when you need them most. When you are in the wrong relationship, chances are, you’re more worried about what the hell you’d do without someone fufilling that role, than that person themself. Firstly, that is no reason to be with someone. Secondly, you lived without them before and you can again. There is someone worth more to fufill that role, so go find them!
Relationships are hard work, and take a lot of upkeep to keep them healthy. Unfortunatly many either lose their willingness to work hard, or don’t even anticipate how much work it will be before hand. I have had ample experience of those that have given up when the going gets tough, or simply pack up shop right at the last hurdle.
When you’re in a relationship, you have to keep true to yourself and bare yourself in mind. If you’re not happy, do something about it, try and alter the cause, but if it doesn’t work, argues persist, you become more stressed, upset, worn down – think of yourself, how its effecting you and consider ending the relationship. I always believe in everything happens for a reason, and what will be will be.